Spiritual Humor : Installing Love

Customer Service: Can you install Love?

Customer: I can do that. I am not very technical, but I think I am
ready to install now. What do I do first?

Service: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your
Heart?

Customer: Yes, I have, but there are several programs running right
now. Is it okay to install while they are running?

Service: What programs are running?

Customer: Let me see. I have Pasthurt.exe, Lowesteem.exe, Grudge.exe
and Resentment.com running right now.

Service: No problem. Love will automatically erase Pasthurt.exe from
your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent
memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will
eventually overwrite Lowesteem.exe with a module of its own, called
Highesteem.exe. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge.exe
and Resentment.com. Those programs prevent Love from being properly
installed. Can you turn those off?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Service: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke
Forgiveness.exe. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge.exe
and Resentment.com have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, I am done. Love has started installing itself
automatically. Is that normal?

Service: Yes it is. You should receive a message that says it will
reinstall for the life of your Heart. Do you see that message?

Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed?

Service: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You
need to begin connecting to other Hearts to get the upgrades.


Customer: Oops' I have an error message already. What should I do?

Service: What does the message say?

Customer: It says "Error 412" Program not run on internal components.
What does that mean?

Service: Don't worry, that's a common problem. It means that the Love
program is set up to run on external Hearts but has not yet been
running on your Heart. It is one of those complicated programming
things, but in non-technical terms it means that you have to "love"
your own machine before it can "love" others.

Customer: So what should I do?

Service: Can you find the directory called "Self-acceptance"?

Customer: Yes, I have it.

Service: Excellent, you are getting good at this.

Customer: Thank you.
Service: You are welcome. Click on the following files and then copy
them to the "Myheart" directory: Forgiveself.doc, Selfesteem.txt,
Realizeworth.txt and Goodness.doc. The system will overwrite
conflicting files and begin patching any faulty programming. Also,
you need to delete 'Selfcriticize.exe" from all directories, and then
empty your recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is completely gone
and never comes back.

Customer: Got it! Wow! My Heart is filling up with really neat files.
Smile.mpg is playing on my monitor right now, and it shows that
Warmth.com, Peace.exe and Contentment.com are copying themselves all
over my Heart!

Service: Then Love is installed and running. You should be able to
handle it from here. One more thing before I go.

Customer: Yes?

Service: Love is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules
to everybody you are meeting. They will in turn share it with other
people, and they will return some really neat modules back to you.

Customer: I will. Thank you for your help.

Service: You are very welcome.